On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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