Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
