This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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