my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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