I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize