Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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