I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
