there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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