areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
