id be glad to
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
