i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
