On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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