You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
