Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
