We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
