im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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