Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
