so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
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So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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