did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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