Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
