Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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