her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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