I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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