I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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