In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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