They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
