let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
