Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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