he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
