careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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