Nicole vs. Life
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
