this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
