You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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