I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
