Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
