I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
