i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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