All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize