Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
is wine microwaveable?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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