My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
