yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's always time for handjobs
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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