My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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