Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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