Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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