Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
