I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
