God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize