I didn't shave. On purpose
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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