if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
