i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color