Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

I feel like half our conversations start this way.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.

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(347): View more from New York

I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.

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