Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Goddamnit I hate your level headedness

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  (305): Goddamnit I hate your level headedness http://tfl.nu/nlec
  Replies (2) Good night (1234) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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  (301): she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying (203): but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she http://tfl.nu/l9o1
  Replies (34) Good night (4752) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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  (415): I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me. http://tfl.nu/6ugc
  Replies (15) Good night (835) Bad night (2225)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms

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  (716): speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms http://tfl.nu/8xzr
  Replies (9) Good night (4513) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.

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  (714): Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going. http://tfl.nu/dlhh
  Replies (17) Good night (862) Bad night (5803)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

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  (973): They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos. http://tfl.nu/2qr6
  Replies (8) Good night (3101) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on

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  (616): Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on http://tfl.nu/6qf1
  Replies (2) Good night (1123) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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  (609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg
  Replies (24) Good night (1085) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.

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  (845): And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn. http://tfl.nu/8782
  Replies (1) Good night (973) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?

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  (334): Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex? http://tfl.nu/rvvc
  Replies (23) Good night (1785) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.

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  (312): My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him. http://tfl.nu/tfrh
  Replies (7) Good night (1076) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship

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  (508): I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship http://tfl.nu/b7qc
  Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night

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  (717): i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night http://tfl.nu/ncnb
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.

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  (+61): I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up. http://tfl.nu/br5b
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?

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  (562): Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream? http://tfl.nu/nras
  Replies (1) Good night (794) Bad night (323)

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