I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
