I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
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They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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