dude i'm inner monologue high
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
