if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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