Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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