I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She's the barista slut.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
