I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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