Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
