Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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