that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
