She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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