So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
