Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
