At least make sure they are 18
Why
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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