i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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